Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Tiger Woods skips Valhalla - Marketing Executives are inconsolable.

He's not playing, yet he's still the main story on many blogs, websites and newspapers today. Tiger Woods, he of the gimpy leg, will not, shock horror, be attending the Ryder Cup this week. How is this news? He was never going to be there. And I for one am glad he won't be there. It's bad enough whenever he is playing and broadcasters insist on showing his every shot, picking over his every move, even when he's not leading. If he pulls off a great shot, which he usually does, we can get up to fifteen replays of it throughout the day, while the other mortal golfers, who some of us would quite like to see sometimes, are lucky to have two or three snippets of their round shown. I know, he's the biggest thing there's ever been in golf, it's understandable they'd do this, but can you imagine the coverage if he had rocked up to Valhalla? Things would strike a new low as the man we'd likely see most on our screens, wouldn't even be swinging a bloody club.

Close-ups of the great man on a walkie-talkie between every shot with accompanying analysis/speculation/Idle Hearsay of what he may or may not be saying to Azinger on the other end of the line. Super slo-mo of his knee as he walks the course to gauge his recovery. God forbid that he would show a moment of slight discomfort or a grimace, that would overshadow any result.

Maybe that's why he's staying at home. Could you be bothered with all that attention when you're actually doing little other than watching golf? I'm amazed that Azinger even invited him to be a Vice Captain, considering his frosty relations with the likes of Mickelson. How could tiger run off to tell him that Big Phil is having a 'mare and should be dropped for the singles, he just couldn't. He'll be watching on telly mind but doubts his capacity to contribute as an armchair pundit.

"I plan to watch, but won't attend. Paul Azinger has my cell phone number and he or any US player can call me any time - I doubt I can do much, I have no feel for how the course is playing."

Well, I will happily offer my services in Tiger's stead, just drop me a line Paul. I have no doubt in my ability to orchestrate and and advise a troop of top golfers from the comfort of my living room. For an appropriate fee, I'll forget I'm Irish and be a yankee-doodle-dandy for the week....

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