Monday, 16 March 2009

Henrik Stenson has no faith in washing powder and tells the world in the only way he knows how...

Some people just seem to get over excited with the onset of Spring; the first sign of sun and they're out in their shorts and sandals. Some take it farther than others. Few stand about playing Golf in their kecks alone.

Stride forth Henrik, brave Swede to show them how it's done. Showing scant regard to the fact that for a professional athlete he has quite a chubby set of "moobs", Stenson whipped off his gear quick smart, like a toddler who enjoys the freedom that nudity can bring, or a German, they love a bit of public nudity (It's a little known untrue fact that Bernard Langer was made sign a contract requiring him to wear clothing at all times during his Ryder Cup Captaincy).

What follows is a gratuitous and at times downright filthy pictorial account of the event.

A picture of concentration, there's only one thing going through Henrik's head is "Why the f*** am I standing here in my undies". He was glad of one thing, no one was noticing what a bad hair day he was having.
"I immediately regret this decision!"
There were gasps of shock as a member of the gallery cried "He's got it out". Eventually the ladies looked out from behind their hands to see he meant the golf ball, not his Swedish meatballs. Upon this realisation the prevailing mood was one of relief, tinged with disappointment.

It was at this point that it dawned on Henrik that maybe he wouldn't have got his clothes that dirty after all and maybe he'd just succeeded in making a tit of himself. He also realised that he had to get a new clothing contract in which he didn't have to return his jumpers without a speck of dirt on them.

Henrik wasn't completely without modesty, he maintained just a modicum of dignity thanks to his Bjorn Borg tightie whities. They covered up the Tatoo on his left cheek of Bjorn Borg locked in passionate embrace with that blonde piece from ABBA... I think he was called Bjorn too...

And don't worry, Henrik kept his Fanny covered at all times... Sunneson had tried for the best part of a decade to get Nick Faldo to get his kit off, only took her a couple of years with Henrik. She's learning.

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